Life Launch Training

Trade Your Fear for Love

Johnny Fernandez — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 11:39:28 +0000

One of my favorite words in the English language is courage. Just saying it out loud sometimes moves my soul to actually feel more courageous.

The word courage comes from the Old French definition: “cour” means heart and -age means the period or era. So it literally means “time of the heart!

It takes courage to start to believe that Soulmate Love is even possible for you.

It takes courage to open yourself up to love again.

It takes courage to make yourself vulnerable enough to care again.

And it takes courage to work through and consciously release any bitterness, anger, cynicism or doubt toward men (or women, whatever the case may be).

But all of that is necessary to magnetize in YOUR soulmate relationship, once and for all.

I remember being single and in my serial monogamy phase. I experienced fear, doubt and worry (okay, and a lot of anger and bitterness) many times. Sometimes it felt like I was all by myself (even with friends and family around) in the world- and that I’d be that way forever.

There was many a Saturday night at home alone or worse, going out alone. I can’t count how many times I went stag to parties and gatherings. Ugh! It was painful and humbling. Now, looking back, I wouldn’t trade that time for the world… I learned how to gather up my courage and to be resilient- and that has helped me not only magnetize Johnny in divine right timing, but to be successful other areas of my life.

Getting your courage up to love again is not an overnight process, but here’s some ideas to help raise your courage vibration right away:

1. Know that courage does not mean an absence of fear. Courage is the willingness to move forward in the face of your fear, sometimes with knees shaking and your heart pounding.

2. Name your fear. What specifically are you afraid of? Are you afraid you’ll screw it all up again? That he’ll leave? That your heart will get broken again? It’s important to be clear about what exactly your fear is. Sometimes fear shows up in a wariness or even an unwillingness to try to learn more that will help you get closer to love.

3. Ask yourself what the payoff is for being stuck in fear (or doubt, delay, worry) and then ask what price you’ll pay if you stay here.

4. Collect inspiring stories about people who have succeeded despite great odds. Reread them for courage when the going gets tough. Everyone has tough times; successful people have strategies for getting through them.

5. Ask for help. We all need help at one time or another. Get yourself a Love Coach- seek help from someone who’s been in your shoes and who is now with their true love.

6. Take action to move forward in spite of your fears a little bit every day.

“To overcome fear is the greatest adventure of the Mind.”
-Ernest Holmes, spiritual teacher, philosopher and writer

Connect with us on Facebook!

P.S. Are you done with dieting, feeling self-conscious about your body, and hiding behind your clothes, and you are primed and ready for something new and glorious? Join our dear friend and colleague Kristen Kancler as she offers free 1-on-1 “New Year, New You!” strategy sessions. These sessions are H-O-T and they will go quick, so grab your spot today! Click HERE to book your appointment today.

This is a BFD

Johnny Fernandez — Wed, 11 Jan 2012 12:31:06 +0000

Happy New Year-Happy New You!

By now you’ve probably read and heard a lot about how to have an amazing new year. Is it possible that you really need to read another one? YES. Why? Not only because this article is different. Very different. But also, because whatever you are wanting to happen in 2012 you very likely wanted to have happen, at least some version of it in 2011. And so this is where we start.

How to have an EPIC 2012 where you attract the love and the life of your dreams (or at least get a heck of a lot closer!)…and enjoy the process! Here are four “rules of the road” going forward into your 2012.

#1: Love is a BFD.
EPIC is “of heroic or impressive proportions” many times we down play how important love is in our lives, and so we miss out of the BFD LOVE really is, and we play to stay safe (=small), and protected, and end up alone.

#2: Relationships don’t just “end”
If you were shocked at the ending of a relationship, you weren’t paying attention…to yourself. Does that mean what the other person did was right? Heck no (but maybe it was). But what that means is that in 2012, if you resolve to have better relationships, that starts with you trusting you. Start by stopping that old story of “it just happened”.

#3: “Help” is not a four letter word.
If you’ve done something stupid in dating. If you’ve been hurt in relationships. If you’ve made poor choices, again and again, blamed it on “love” and are now pissed at the situation you are in. It’s okay. Really. That just means you’re over 30 years old and can now begin really growing up. I don’t know what they did to grow up in generations past, but I’m 46 years old, still growing up, and feel like that’s only been really happening for the last 13 years. Getting HELP makes growing up actually happen. If you could have done it all alone, or with your parents relationship role modeling and expert guidance (don’t laugh), you’d be in a different place (a place I don’t know of and I doubt you do). Lets all get over it and grow up.

#4: Awakening precedes the Breakthrough
We live in, and are a part of an “Instant Gratification Society” - that’s us. You too. You may say “other people” believe in overnight success, instant gratification, and believe in losing weight while you sleep-no exercise involved. Puhleese. I would LOVE some magic beans to help me get into my US Marines Corps fitness level of 25 years ago. And you…what would you like?

Once I allowed myself to awaken to the fact that magic beans aren’t coming and if I want to get in shape I better do something…so I started running. Every day. At 6am. And you know what has changed? Not much, really. It’s not instant. But I feel better, am losing the regret of all the fitness I haven’t done, and am enjoying watching the sun come up along the water as I run back home to the love of my life, Lara, and our wonderful daughter, as my inspirational music pumps in my ears.

So what’s going to be different in 2012? Truthfully, not much. UNLESS you decide that YOU are a BFD, and your love life is a BFD…and you’ll admit that you need to trust yourself more, and begin today…and you grow up and realize help is not a 4 letter word, and know that the awakening precedes the breakthrough.

You could start by getting up at 6am and running. Especially if you haven’t done that for 25 years. Why not now? Why not you?

Here’s to your Epic 2012. May it be a really really BFD.

For your soulmate success,
Johnny

P.S. Have you thought about writing a book but the whole process seems overwhelming? Register for this FREE teleseminar to learn how to make it happen this year. http://bit.ly/BakeYourBook

P.P.S. Want to start a business? Confused about Your True Purpose? Struggling to Clarify Your Message? Learn how here: http://bit.ly/TelesummitTrainingProgram

Make Nice? Be Good? No Way! Curse of the Good Girl Part 3

Dr. Lara Fernandez — Wed, 04 Jan 2012 11:34:31 +0000

What in the world is the Curse of the Good Girl- and why am I writing so much about it? Because as women, for the most part, we ALL have been taught to “make nice” and to try to please everybody else first.

When we put others first always and in all ways, we lose our power. And if you haven’t figured it out yet, our teachings are ALL about you OWNING your power, standing in it, and utilising it to your highest good… so you can live the life that you may have only dreamed of before.

And you know what? When you OWN your power, EVERYBODY in your life and in your community and I daresay the planet BENEFITS. When you KNOW your value, when you know your worth– you just won’t accept anything less but the BEST in life. This will affect the type of man you attract, the financial security you have, the level of health you will allow yourself to have, and every other aspect of life you are living.

And living your best life is your God-given birthright!! I will sing this from the mountain tops! I won’t stop sharing this with you, over and over again in all of these blog posts, my Q&A Thursday video series, ALL of our home learning courses and at our live events. I won’t stop until you’re brainwashed! Yep. Brainwashed into CLAIMING your birthright of your best life.

Okay. Crazy Rant over.

So now, how to alleviate the Curse of the Good Girl?

First, you’ll want to check out Article #1 in my series here.

Second, check out Article #2 of the “Curse of the Good Girl” series here.

Third: Assume Nothing.

When girls (and then the women they grow up to become) start to hide their true thoughts and feelings, relationships become enigmas. Questions like: “Did he really mean what he said?” or “Is she mad at me?” become frequent thought patterns and confusion and anxiety grows. What happens when girls and women start silently questioning others’ motives?

They begin assuming: this is what he must think, feel and mean. These often snap judgments are made in a panic or fear, and they bring about destructive and unhealthy responses.

As women, we are generally great observers of our world. It’s not that we’re not watching what is happening (for instance, the guy doesn’t call you back) it’s that they don’t ask about what they see or are feeling. Assumptions become a way for girls and women to get around tough questions that could lead to conflict or uncomfortable conversations. By making assumptions, the woman or girl becomes a passive player in a relationship (of any kind, not just a romantic relationship) and the result is they conduct their relationships in their own heads.

NOT GOOD!

Learning how to recognize our assumptions and then question them is a great step in owning our power in love and life.

Here’s a few key points to know here, especially if you answered yes to any of the questions I asked you in this article: The Curse of the Good Girl

1. Be clear on what an assumption is. It’s when you make a decision about something without having all the details.

For example- let’s say a woman (who happens to dislike sports) goes on a first date with a man. The man asks her, “What would you like to do on our date?”

Woman: “Oh, I don’t know. Whatever you want to do.” (This is generally how a lot of women have been taught to answer, thinking this is pleasing to the man)

Man: “Okay. Let’s go to a hockey game. My favorite team is playing!”

Woman: “Okay.”

The woman has just made an assumption. She assumed the man really wasn’t interested in what she wanted to do. Or perhaps that he wouldn’t want to do what she’d like to do. Whatever the case, she made an assumption about him and how he’d respond… so she ends up being unhappy at the hockey game. (Yeah, yeah- I know- she can change her mind about how she views the hockey game and go into it open-minded and possibly have a great time- but that’s not the point here)

2. Get clear about the consequences of assumptions you may have made in the past.

Assumptions are really just thoughts, and unfortunately thoughts do not always happen and go away. They are like little roots that sprout in our minds and grown into big oak trees with big shoots of feelings and then even more thoughts about those feelings.

A good way to start recognizing your assumptions is to break down your emotions from an interaction with someone and then look at your emotions and your resulting thoughts and actions.

For example: I can’t believe he took me to a hockey game on our first date, for chrissakes!

He’s so thoughtless.

Emotions: annoyed, frustrated

Thoughts: he’s so self-centered and self-absorbed. He should have been able to tell that I wasn’t excited about going to the game. He’s certainly not the one for me.

Actions: Don’t return his calls. Never go out on a date with him again. (This really does happen)

3. Question your Assumptions, by Observing and Asking.

A great way to question your assumptions is by wondering about your assumptions. Be curious about them. This opens your mind to look around and consider other, perhaps better possibilities.

Example:

I can’t believe he took me to a hockey game on our first date, for chrissakes!

He’s so thoughtless.

I WONDER: I wonder if he really wanted to know what I wanted to do for our date. Maybe if I had told him about that new movie that’s out that I’ve been wanting to see, if he would have wanted to go to that instead.

Your antidote to these deadly assumptions? Information. The only way to know something for sure is to ask. And I don’t mean ask your girlfriends later what they thought he meant by doing xyz, I mean ask the source. Something like this is more direct: “I’d really love to go see that new movie that just came out. How does that sound to you?” And you know what?

Here’s a little secret about men: They DEEPLY DESIRE to make the women that they are interested in HAPPY!!! (Okay, that’s a whole other article, but just please know this is the truth… Johnny is nodding his head vigorously as I write this)

Woo hoo! So let him! Let him make you happy!

4. Never hint again.

What? I know, I know- the belief that your soulmate should be able to read your mind has been programmed into all of us. From the fairy tales we’ve read or watched to the romantic comedies we’ve seen… this assumption is enforced just about everywhere. The tendency of “well-mannered” women to just drop subtle hints and then get angry at someone who doesn’t magically guess their needs and desires has dangerous and troubling consequences.

Hint-dropping is a “Good Girl” gesture that allows women to avoid owning their most difficult thoughts and feelings… and to avoid possible conflict and uncomfortable conversations.

It’s time for all women (and girls) to understand the powerful link between clear and precise speech and getting the things they want. It’s time for assertive self-expression, so that you can create the life of your dreams.

Clarity is power. Assume nothing. Ask for what you really want.
You may just get it.

With love,
Lara

P.S. I wanted to bring you a FREE GIFT from a friend and colleague to help with your relationship to wealth. If you struggle with feeling like you have to choose between being “Spiritual” and being “Wealthy”-choose no longer! Click HERE to raise your prosperity vibration and recalibrate your ability to receive abundance while you relax!